I’ve had so many thoughts flying through my brain for the last few weeks and I thought it would be a great idea to just write them out in a blog post. First of all, how is everyone doing? Are you home with your kids? Home by yourself? Still working? Our day-to-day lives haven’t changed much except for Gemma being home all day. My husband is still working for now. In addition to being a stay-at-home mom, I’ve added childcare provider to my resume. A few of my kiddos aren’t coming due to Covid-19, but I still have one sweet family coming as their parents’ are essential workers. It’s been interesting navigating this whole quarantine situation while also taking care of kids. While we are doing our part to social distance and not leave the house much, we still have outside people coming in. I’m hoping my family can avoid getting the virus, but we are all healthy so if we do I’m sure we’ll be fine.
While our daily lives haven’t changed that much, quarantine has still been a struggle. As we start this third week of no school, Gemma is definitely feeling the itch to go back. She asks everyday if she can go to her cousin’s house or to the park and it is really hard to tell her “no” every day. We’re missing so many things like the library, Sorosis, Wonderworks, and eating at our favorite restaurants. We’re definitely getting in plenty of screen time, but trying to get outside for fresh air and movement too.
Our new normal has definitely been affecting my mental health. I’m normally a homebody and love being home, but the knowledge that we can’t go anywhere is taking its toll on me. Sometimes I need to get these kids out of the house, even if it’s just to go play at McDonald’s. Now that our options are limited to drives around town and walks in our neighborhood, everyone is feeling the cabin fever.
Social media is full of memes about making the most of this time off by finally getting your house organized, starting an at-home workout routine, or homeschooling your kids like an expert. But so far, our social distancing has been filled with a lot of anxiety for me. Even though almost 15 months have passed since my dad’s death, I’m still struggling with my grief and this virus has brought it to the forefront. I’m missing Dad like crazy and also constantly thinking about how he would handle this whole situation. Social distancing would be really hard for him. He’s so used to going to McDonald’s every day to get his iced tea. And then he would head over here to visit the kids and me. I feel like he probably would have crashed on our couch for the duration because he wouldn’t be able to handle not seeing them. We’re definitely feeling the absence of my mom even though we can still talk to her on the phone.
My anxiety is manifesting in the urge to eat too much, constantly check social media for updates on the spread of the virus, and let the dishes pile up. To top it off, our house got hit with hand, foot, and mouth last week and I was left without the use of my hands for a few days until the blisters healed up. It’s been a roller coaster but I’m really putting in the effort to cherish this time with Gemma. Kindergarten has been a big adjustment for us so having her home again all day really has been fun. Plus, I don’t have to pack a lunch or rush us out the door every morning!
I know that life will eventually return to normal, but this waiting game is stressful. It’s looking like Gemma won’t get to finish her kindergarten year at school. Birthday parties and fun springtime events are being cancelled or postponed. And yet I also realize how privileged we are for me to be able to home with the kids and that we don’t have any major life events coming up that need to be postponed. I can’t imagine if this happened four years ago and we needed to postpone our wedding.
This whole situation is (hopefully) a one time life event. And we will get through it as a family and as a community. School will resume eventually. Birthdays will happen again. The Cherry Festival will be extra festive celebrated with the Fourth of July. I can only hope that you are spending this time at home cherishing every second with your babies and that when it’s all over, we’ll have the biggest party this town has ever seen. I personally can’t wait to hug my mom and all my friends! Stay safe out there!